Let’s be good to one another

17 Nov

Guys, I’m really scared. I’m scared and also genuinely disturbed. I’m scared and disturbed by what my Twitter and Facebook feeds have been saturated with as of late, especially following the terrible terrorist attacks in Paris and Beirut.

It seems to me that some of my friends on Facebook and those I follow on Twitter are not short of any opinions on politics, race, border control, immigrants – and that’s OK. That is a beautiful thing. We’ve been blessed with brains, the ability to think and millions of us have the right to free speech. We’ve got it good!

Ok, now, what is scaring me is the decisiveness and divisiveness of those friends and acquaintances of mine on social media channels. What I read shows me that people are angry, scared and worried and that they are very black and white on a number of topics. Some of my friends post that no single refugee should be admitted to the U.S. because all people from the Middle East are terrorists. Some of my friends are calling each other racists for thinking we shouldn’t allow refugees into the country. It’s like a tennis match. I watch the ball fly from one end of the court all the way the hell over to the other side, and then back again, all the while shaking my head in sadness.

This “rant” has been building up for me over some time now. This isn’t commentary on the recent terrorist attacks or the presidential race. My observations and commentary span a variety of subject matters from the very serious to the very not serious, so please don’t read this as my personal thoughts on such large matters as the attacks. If you know me at all, you know I rarely, if ever, post my opinion about serious issues online. That is my personal choice and I mostly stick to it (there are definite exceptions). If you want to know my opinion on a hot button issue, I’d be more than happy to opine verbally and have an actual productive conversation without any name calling.

Despite most of this being rather rambling, the point I want to make is very clear: Everything isn’t always black and white. Life and the world have gray spots. There is always something to learn and always a way to grow.

Like I said, we are all entitled to our opinion – it’s a beautiful thing. This is me spewing my opinion. However, grandstanding with small-minded, uniformed thoughts on social media doesn’t make you right (or wrong), it just makes me unfollow or unfriend you. And NOT because I disagree with you! You know that Internet troll go-to, “if you don’t like it don’t read/watch it.” I’ll go right ahead an exercise that regardless of my stance on the matter, thank you very much.

Seriously all – life is so precious and so short and I get that vocalizing your opinion and thoughts is a great thing and a productive way to grow and change for the better, but a lot of you are coming off as real jerks – plain and simple. (Am I now contradicting myself? In fact, this is all kind of a walking contradiction isn’t it?)

Have some grace and decorum. Remember that every single thing you post online is etched in the proverbial Internet stone. Speak with intelligence and always try to learn more from different sources and schools of thought. That’s why life is so rich – we all have individual thoughts and feelings. We have choice. These are the things that separate us from the rest of the animal kingdom. There’s so much of life to be enjoyed and I worry that we are so consumed with shouting our opinions that we’re neglecting the bigger picture.

Now if you haven’t already, go watch this touching video of a French father and son being interviewed. Think about the flowers and candles. Pray (if you do) and send good thoughts to those all over the world who have died or have been injured at the hands of madmen and those who are reeling from loss. Above all else, be good to each other. Ok?

Startup Grind – Austin McChord of Datto

23 Jul

My career has afforded me a number of opportunities to work with entrepreneurs both as my employer and as my client. Each has had his or her own specific idiosyncrasies, inspirations, demands and lessons to share. I’ve worked with entrepreneurs at the most exciting time in their business ventures, and some at the worst, and most stressful times. I’ve worked with those who have incredible leadership skills and thrive as the head of the company, and those who prefer to focus on a specific product passion and hand the reigns off to a colleague to manage business on a day-to-day basis. On the client side, I’ve also had those who begrudgingly hire a PR firm, and others who totally “get it” when it comes to the power of publicity and communications when building a business.

Needless to say, I find the brain of an entrepreneur fascinating. I love learning what makes him or her tick, what keeps them going when they’ve hit business rock bottom, what their strengths and weaknesses are, and so on.

I attended a fantastic fireside chat this week hosted by Startup Grind Greenwich with Datto founder and CEO Austin McChord. His list of accomplishments at a very young age is only slightly intimidating. …I say ‘slightly’ in an entirely sarcastic sense. ‘In 2014 McChord was named a Finalist for Ernst & Young Entrepreneur of the Year, as well as named a CRN Top 25 Innovator and a CRN Top 50 Midmarket IT Vendor Executive. He was also named to the 2015 Forbes 30 under 30 list.’

Austin has this interesting way about him. He’s well-spoken and obviously outrageously smart. He has the background of a tech geek who likely didn’t love to speak in front of crowds in his younger years, while he has the serious chops to run a data backup company that did just under $100 million in 2014, up 32-fold since 2010. Funny enough, Austin admitted to being “lazy” in college, barely doing any homework and squeaking by with a 2.2 GPA. Type As like me who lost years off their life trying to get good grades in college – let’s all take a collective deep breath and move on.

While Austin shared an outstanding amount of insight on his entrepreneurial journey thus far, I wanted to bullet out and share some of the points that really struck me.

  • On creating a great place to work: Austin was very honest that he has employees at Datto who are smarter and better at certain things than he is – and he revels in that. He seems to subscribe to a similar mindset that I have: Surround yourself with people smarter than you. You should never be the smartest person in the room and you should hire natural contrarians. “Yes people” will only be a disservice.

    He also works hard with his senior team to make a fun place to work for his employees. They’ve done kooky videos with the staff dancing to the Harlem Shake. He bought liquid nitrogen just so he could freeze random stuff in the office for fun (FYI – a frozen orange will shatter and explode when chucked onto the floor). The staff once built a gigantic LED light board to watch TV and sports games on in the office.

    Some might call these “antics” distracting, but I’m on board (to a degree, of course). Work is tiresome. Work can get boring. Breaking out of the monotony of the average work day can be healthy for a team – and build just that…a team. And from what I could tell from the Datto team members also in attendance at this event, they seem super happy to get up and go to work every day. Happy employees = happy customers = good business.

  • On why he does what he does / what keeps him going: When Austin hits low points in business and has to learn lessons the hard way (he racked up $75k of personal credit card debt to get Datto going), he remembers something very important: He made a promise. He made a promise to his customer that he would protect their company’s data – data integral to operation. And he made a promise to his employees to be the best leader possible. He shared the sobering fact that, as a business owner, he is responsible for paying someone else’s mortgage and for putting food on someone else’s table. When facing tough times or failures, Austin seems to refocus on the bigger picture in a noble way.
  • On what has helped him get where he is today: Change and adaptability. Austin said he wouldn’t be the successful entrepreneur he is today had he not been open to change in himself. He wouldn’t have been able to become a great orator who now speaks at a number of public engagements and is put forward for prestigious awards. The 21-year-old soldering metal parts for his first prototype in his dad’s company’s basement would have found Austin’s publicity comical or unbelievable. But had he not had the ability to adapt and “put himself out there,” he said he wouldn’t have made so many gains.

I’ll admit my recap is a smidgen of all the great insights shared during the event. I hope I did it justice to some small degree. Thanks to Austin, Startup Grind and my friend Jennifer Bernheim of martinb+company for the invite!

If you don’t know of Austin or Datto yet, keep an eye out. I have a feeling future news will be bright for the company.

Q&A With Author Sally Slater

26 Apr

paladinIf you catch any common theme in my blog posts, it might be Girl Power. I’m a huge fan of boss ladies (as I kind of strangely like to call women who rock as of late). I’m a huge fan of women who follow their dreams and do things to better the world in their own way.

I met one of these women recently. Sally Slater is a colleague of mine and an author of young adult fiction novel, Paladin, which weighs in at No 7 on the Wattpad fantasy chart, with 10.7M reads, according to The Guardian and Wattpad.  No big deal at all, right?

Sally has a sharp wit and a biting determination in everything I see her do. She’s got a unique view of women’s role in literature (and in real life, I think it fair to say), and I think she serves as an outstanding example of what can happen when you “follow your bliss” and work for what you want.

I can’t congratulate Sally enough as her book is now on pre-order at Amazon. I’m sure there’s plenty more for us to see from this lady!

selfEnjoy a little Q&A Sally was kind enough to complete for me, below.

  1. How did Paladin come to fruition? Where does your story as an author start?

I’ll answer your question in two parts, because my discovery of writing and the story of Paladin stemmed from two unrelated events. I owe becoming an author to a professor in college, who shook some much-needed sense into me. I spent most of college trying to figure out who and what I wanted to be (first an actress, then a lawyer, then a healthcare professional…), and it wasn’t until he pulled me aside and said, “So, you’re going to be a writer, right?” that writing as a profession ever crossed my brain. He also bluntly told me that if I didn’t find a way to write in my career, I’d be miserable for the rest of my life. I really owe him a thank you note for that kick in the pants.

Paladin, on the other hand, was in part a pent-up response to all the hype around Twilight. I loathed Bella Swan, but more than I hated her character, I hated that this was the young woman millions of girls were looking up to. I’m going to spoil the Twilight series a bit here, but Bella at one point gets dumped by her boyfriend, and she becomes literally nonfunctional and near-suicidal. And that was glamorized! What kind of message is that to send? (See, even now, I can’t talk about the series calmly).

Instead of just ranting about it, I decided to write a book with my kind of heroine – a strong female protagonist who kicked butt but wasn’t totally unrealistic or unobtainable.

  1. Why the young adult fantasy focus?

I may be the grand old age of 26, but young adult fantasy remains my favorite thing to read, and now to write. It’s what I read growing up to the near exclusion of all other genres and I don’t plan on giving it up anytime soon, though I’ve since branched out.

  1. Who is the Paladin reader?

When I first started writing and sharing Paladin, I assumed most of my readers would be young women since my main character is a woman. But I’ve been pleasantly surprised by how many guys have been into my book, too. There’s some humor, some romance, and a whole lot of action and violence, so I’d like to think there’s a little something for everyone.

  1. How did you create your characters? Do you take from your personality traits and life experiences?

I’d say the only character who remotely resembles anyone from my life is Sam of Haywood, the main character of Paladin. There are elements of my own personality that I gave her – I think we share the same sense of humor, and I also gave her my unfortunate nose because I think having a big nose builds character (or something). But our different circumstances (I’m not the daughter of a duke, alas) lead to very different overall personalities.

Braeden and Tristan (my two male leads) are heavily influenced by anime. Does watching anime count as life experience? Any otaku will immediately see evidence of my anime obsession in Braeden’s silver-white hair and funny eyes. Every anime lover needs their silver-haired bishounen.

  1. What do you love most about playing the role of “author?”

I love being able to control stories and having the power to decide how they end. Although to a certain extent, your characters control you and you lose control over your own story—but that’s a pretty cool experience, too. I love that I’ve created this whole other world with characters that feel almost as real to me as real people (notice I say almost…I haven’t gone crazy yet!). And it’s pretty amazing to be able to share this world with other people.

  1. What would you say to someone thinking about starting a foray into writing a book (of any type)? Any inspiration or caution?

I think at one point or another, every writer gets stuck and doesn’t know where to go with their story. Maybe it’s because they start doubting their own work, or because they don’t know where to take the plot next. I would just say that “writer’s block” or self-doubt or whatever you want to call it is completely normal, and to stick with your story. Set your story aside for a week or a month if you need to, but then come back to it.

  1. This might be a silly question, but did you have any hesitancy whatsoever to put your name on the book? Did you feel any pressure to make your name gender neutral? My point in asking this surrounds the (now antiquated) J.K. Rowling phenomenon / hoopla over the fact that a female author could do so well (gasp!).

Honestly, no. First of all, giving full credit to my parents here, “Sally Slater” might as well be a penname. It just rolls right off the tongue. Well done, parents. Basically, I had to either become a newscaster or an author, and I became the latter.

Second, Paladin is a story about a woman, by a woman. I’m incredibly proud to have written a story in the fantasy genre—which is so often dominated by men—about a powerful, realistic heroine. I want my name all over it.

  1. Lastly, what’s the most amazing, funniest, craziest things that’s happened in the process of writing and publishing a book? (I’m thinking about some funny fan stories, etc.)

Upon Googling myself…as one does…I discovered that I am listed as a young man’s favorite author on his OKCupid profile (in the section where you can list your favorite books, movies, etc.). I’m the first author he has listed, ahead of Lois Lowry’s The Giver and J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter. I was tempted to send him a message, but I realized that might be creepy…he is definitely too young for me, and I no longer have an active OKCupid profile.

Reputation is Everything

13 Mar

The public relations industry is small. Despite the fact that there are numerous PR agencies around the world and nearly 230,000 people work in the field, many of us are connected by a few degrees of separation.

From Day 1 at your first internship or job in the PR industry, you begin to make a name for yourself. It might seem trite or silly of me to say that, but I still keep in touch with a number of the people I worked for at my college internships and same with some of the interns who have worked with me. I have a clear recollection in my mind of who worked hard, who was a great leader, who was a positive force in the office, and the same for people who complained a lot, placed blame on others when things got tough, and so on.

You never know when your first boss will be your client five years from now! Lasting impressions (good ones!) can be advantageous in a long term PR career when you’re job hunting, pitching new business and making new media connections. This field is centered on relationship building and you should protect your reputation fiercely when you put the work in to earn a good one.

For anyone in the field from the start of your career to the last days before retirement or a career switch, the importance of reputation and respect for both yourself and others should be deeply ingrained. We are crafters of reputation are we not?

Because I love lists, and why not, here’s a few things you can do to build and protect a solid reputation:

  • Answer emails. If a job recruiter is reaching out but you aren’t looking at the moment, respond regardless thanking them for reaching out and that you hope to stay in touch down the road.
  • Don’t talk badly about others. DUH. Word travels quickly in the COMMUNICATIONS FIELD.
  • Don’t be self-serving. While you must watch your own back, your priorities at work should be serving your clients and the media; and if you are in a leadership position, the success of your reports. No one wants to help someone out who is a serial narcissist only out to get their own and is always asking, asking, asking and never giving.
  • Promise, then deliver. From leadership to entry level positions, if you have a task at hand and others are depending on you to deliver, do so. Simple as that. If things aren’t going according to plan in your efforts to accomplish the task, whether it’s compiling a media list or a complete website overhaul, openly communicate such obstacles and a tentative timeline for completion.
  • Respect people’s time. Time is at a premium in the office nowadays as we all move at breakneck speeds. If you schedule a meeting for an hour, stick to that time so people can move along with their day. Nothing says “I don’t respect your time” like holding people in a meeting for a lengthy amount of time with little accomplished other than you listening to yourself talk.
  • Respect yourself. Your work and efforts should be quality.
  • Above all else – remember The Golden Rule, and that other thing your mom taught you about not saying anything at all if you had nothing nice to say, etc.

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ― Maya Angelou

Lack of Confidence = A Lot of Problems

9 Jan

15503376268_c22ddf58fbOne of the best on-stage pageant answers I’ve ever heard was in response to the question, “What do you think is your generation’s greatest problem?”

War. Poverty. Drugs. Terrorism. Violence?

None of the above.

This contestant’s answer was “a lack of self-confidence.” I’m sure she put it in many more words and much more eloquently, but that was the gist of it. I immediately envisioned Tina Fey’s monologue to the “jailed” female students in the gym at the end of the movie “Mean Girls.”

While we may think girls and young women in no way lack confidence given the self-obsessed world of social media that we live in, I think the opposite is the case. We’re breeding a generation of females that base their self-worth on how many likes they get on an Instagram photo of themselves – one they took ten times before posting the “best” one. We are, in general, severely lacking in the confidence realm.

You might think I’m crazy for saying this contestant’s answer was a hands-down “Best Of,” but think about it.

There are regular news headlines about young girls bullying one another on social media, sometimes resulting in the most horrific events one can imagine. Even in colloquial discussions in the office, someone can say “oh I have three daughters at home,” with an exasperated look to indicate, “little girls are the devil reincarnate.”

I’m no psychologist (paging my sister-in-law for some insight here in the comments section, maybe), but to me, a lot of greater issues with girls and women stems from the fact that we lack self-confidence for a slew of reasons (fashion ads with thigh gaps, maybe) which then manifests itself into nasty competitiveness and back-stabbing. We act out in ways that aren’t true to ourselves and make being female a competitive feat. You know that whole “I’ll blow out your candle to make mine brighter…” No? There is also the fact that some people are just plain old competitive and mean…that sucks for them, but… #rambling

One of our biggest fundamental challenges as women from pigtails to stilettos, is that we often lack confidence and can overcompensate in negative ways. I exclude myself from this in no way. I did ballet and pageants…I am a poster child for lacking self-confidence, and I’ve been plenty nasty to my fellow girls.

I even have male friends who have said that they hate working with women because many of them try to be a bitch because they translate that to being “male-like aggressive.” (Don’t get me started on being assertive and being perceived wrongfully as a bitch. That’s an entirely different blog post.) Women, according to these friends, are hard to work with because they have something to prove.

Where does this stem from ladies? By the way, I’m not concurring with my male friends in the slightest – rather using this as an illustration.

The beauty of being a woman – being a human being – is that we come in all different shapes, styles, colors, etc. and we are all constantly evolving. We are all different and have a different way of doing what we do.

Having it All

I’m tired of the questions: “Can women have it all?” While I balance a lot of things in my life, “all” means different things to different people. Someone might laugh at my measly concept of “all” while others may think I’m insanely overextended.

However, what we can start doing to (wishful thinking?) eradicate this question from all future media interviews with female entrepreneurs and heads of state, is to enable each other to “have it all.”

Women educating and empowering other women is the key.

The empowerment of my fellow ladies is actually why I chose to stay involved with the Miss Connecticut Organization after I aged-out of the competition. If I could, in some small way, make an impact on just one young woman by being a positive influence in her life – to show her that doing well personally and professionally, does not mean you have to beat others down (a perceived epidemic in the competitive world of pageants) to build yourself up – and to show her that absolutely everyone lacks some amount of self-confidence / we all have our own battles, so let’s not make it harder for one another – then I can say I truly accomplished something good.

Save your “man hating” nonsense – this is far from that. What I’m trying to get across is that we, as women, will be our own worst enemy, if we continue to allow things to kill our self-confidence and self-worth. It’s what makes monsters of us.

Now put your cell phone down and stop trying to take the perfect selfie. You look great.